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| Source: Dimension |
These days, Hollywood constantly pumps out new remakes and reboots, looking to introduce a new wave of audiences to the stories and characters of yesteryear, while playing to the nostalgia of those who were there for the initial experience.
They have established brands and they know they pull audiences in, so why not churn them back out? Such is the way of consumerism. But a brand's existing strength is nothing without quality, and like with anything, some of these reboots are good, and some are awful.
One genre of film that seems to have gotten special attention from this trend is the horror film, which seem to be remade more than any other. These have ranged from the wonderful 2013 remake of Evil Dead to 2015's awful rendition of Poltergeist. Still at least there's balance on both sides of the force.
On the other hand, the slasher film sub-genre specifically has not fared quite as well, with the bad significantly outweighing the good and the good being passable at best. And yet still - mostly because slasher villains are pop culture icons (which means dirty cash) - Hollywood was more than prepared to cash in on them.
Of all the slasher reboots released over the last number of years, these are the ten that can easily be called the worst.
10. House Of Wax (2005)
2005's House of Wax is a bad film, plain and simple. The only reason it ranks so low here is that in addition to being really bad, it is really forgettable. In fact, this list is likely the first time anyone has drawn any sort of attention to this movie in some time now.
This rehash of the 1953 Vincent Price film is a remake in name and name alone, carrying over virtually nothing from the source material, including the intrigue. While far from iconic, Vincent Price's House of Wax was an incredibly creative movie. Creativity being something completely lost on this reboot.
This film is one of the single most generic, boring horror stories you could possibly imagine. None of the characters are even remotely interesting or likeable, and exist for no other reason than to die. Not only that, but all of this happens in the most formulaic and predictable way possible.
It fails as both a remake and a standalone film to a staggering degree, and 2005's House of Wax is best left as the boring, thankfully fading memory it is.
9. Black Christmas (2006)
Talk about a fall from grace. The original Black Christmas from 1974 was an effective, well-made and downright unsettling movie. And while it may not have been the greatest horror film ever made, it's definitely up there. Not to mention the fact that it was one of the most pivotal catalysts of the slasher sub-genre.
Frankly, it's amazing how they were able to take one of the most important and influential slasher films ever made, and remake it as one of the most generic and uninteresting horror flick they possibly could.
First of all, this film embodies one of the biggest reasons why many horror reboots are so terrible, in that the film fails to create any sort of atmosphere or tension, and instead lazily throws as much blood and gore on the screen as possible, thinking that that is an acceptable substitute. It certainly doesn't help that the acting, direction and effects are mediocre at best.
Nothing that made the original Black Christmas such an icon is present in this reboot. What we got instead was a dull film that features absolutely nothing worthy of note and certainly does not deserve its title.
8. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
This is the first appearance by a Platinum Dunes film on this list and spoiler alert: it won't be the last. Michael Bay's production company has turned out some utter garbage over the years, but some of the worst they have to offer is undoubtedly their horror movies. One of the very first they made being their 2003 rehash of Tobe Hooper's cult classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
In any case, the number one problem that will remain a constant throughout this list is present in this movie. That being the over-reliance on blood, gore and violence with nothing of any real substance. Now, the original film was relentlessly violent, yes. However, it was also had brilliantly executed tension, atmosphere, as well as memorable characters and moments to back it up. None of this appears in the remake.
This films follows suit with the Black Christmas remake, in that the filmmakers simply decided to take the lazy route and throw some blood and guts onto the screen before calling it a day. It only gets worse from here on in, though, as this terrible remake is only one of many for Platinum Dunes.
7. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
Three years following their first attempt at re-inventing Leatherface, Platinum Dunes tried their luck with the horror icon yet again. This time around, they opted to go the route of an origin story, and wouldn't you know it, it managed to be even worse than their initial reboot.
First of all, the issue of needless gore with no substance to justify it or anything else going on is still very much present. The characters are bland and while the backstory they gave to Leatherface is, admittedly, somewhat interesting, it falls flat as a result of the poor writing.
The first remake of this series at least had the original film to fall back on if the writers got stuck. This time around, they were doing it all on their own, and that definitely showed, as they tried and failed to make anything coherent.
While worse than their first crack at this franchise, TCM: The Beginning still is not the worst of Platinum Dunes' remakes. However, it may just be the most forgettable.
It's worth noting that the bad storytelling of this and the previous film is not entirely the fault of those who made it. Michael Bay likes to let upstarts in the industry work on these horror remakes.
While that may seem like a good opportunity for them on the surface, handing someone with very little experience a treasured franchise and telling them to make a decent reboot is naive, lazy and potentially very stressful for those chosen, and shows that he doesn't care all that much for the actual product. In these films, that very much shows.
6. Texas Chainsaw (2013)
With Platinum Dunes out of the picture, Lionsgate were given their own chance to take a swing at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series. Early promotional material looked promising and even began to fill fans of the series with hope that maybe they had actually gotten it right. These hopes were soon crushed, however, as the film managed to somehow be even worse than the previous two.
First and foremost, this is a film that suffers from a major identity crisis, as it cannot seem to make up its mind as to whether it wants to be a remake or a sequel. It was announced as a reboot, yet branded itself as a sequel to the original, taking place several years later. Yet, it copies certain shots and scenes from the first movie wholesale. The writers and director very clearly could not decide what they wanted this film to be, and it shows in the final product. And the mediocre acting certainly didn't help the movie feel more cohesive.
The worst part of this film, in a strange change of pace, is not an overuse of violence, but rather the plot itself. The story we see unfold in this movie is devoid of all human logic and emotion. At one point in the film the main protagonist, despite watching Leatherface brutally murder her friends throughout the runtime, decides to side with him after learning they are long lost cousins, giving the murdering psychopath his weapon of choice. Because that makes sense. For lack of a better term, this film is utterly stupid. And even though Platinum Dunes failed at telling a good Texas Chainsaw story, at the very least they actually tried.
When it comes to awful reboots, it seems that ol' Leatherface just can't win. And with a Lionsgate-produced origin story for the icon currently in the works, things don't appear to be getting any better.
5. Prom Night (2008)
While not the most iconic horror movie ever, the original Prom Night, starring the scream queen herself, Jamie Lee Curtis, was a crucial forerunner for the golden age of slasher films in the 1980s. The remake, however, for lack of a better word, was a dumpster fire.
In addition to carrying over virtually nothing from the original, save for the title and general concept, it is objectively one of the single worst horror moves of the last decade and beyond. It is a movie that, once again, uses blood and gore to mask the fact that there is nothing of any actual substance. Worse yet, even the blood and gore isn't done even sort of well.
The original Prom Night was an effective murder-mystery story, with victims being picked off one by one by an unknown killer, and the audience trying to figure out just who's behind it all. This culminates in a rather sad ending (though not for the reasons you may think.) The remake, however, tells us exactly who the killer is from the off and makes sure to remind us throughout, making the entire film utterly pointless.
The best thing about the original Prom Night was its sense of mystery, and among the remake's awful reworked story, lukewarm acting and lame attempts at being scary, it couldn't even let us have that.
4. Friday The 13th (2009)
Platinum Dunes is back again with their failed attempt at introducing a new generation of movie-goers to the legend of Camp Crystal Lake.
Firstly, this movie cannot even really be called a remake, per se. Rather than re-telling the story of Mrs. Voorhees' original murder spree from 1980, this film haphazardly condenses the first four Friday films into the same reboot. With the ending of the iconic first film taking place in the first thirty seconds, no less.
What follows is a half-hearted attempt to revive the franchise, with disastrous results. This is a film that offers gratuitous smut, racial stereotypes galore, and not much else. The long-established modus operandi of Jason Voorhees is thrown out the window. In this film, Jason not only runs, but also takes hostages. Apparently, the screenwriters never bothered to actually watch a Friday the 13th movie before beginning work on this one.
Cap all of that off with terrible acting, no genuine atmosphere or tension to be found, and one of the most cliche horror endings possible, and you have was is easily one of the worst horror remakes to-date, slasher or otherwise. The only scary thing about this film is the baffling amount of success it somehow achieved.
3. Halloween II (2009)
Rob Zombie's Halloween, was, objectively, a rather good horror film. It failed as a remake as a result of its heavy deviation from the spirit of the original, but was a solid enough film in its own right to prevent it from earning a spot on this list.
So, how did Zombie decide to follow it up? With a sequel that is both objectively terrible and subjectively terrible. There is absolutely no tension to be found in this movie, tension being what made the original Halloween, and even its sequel, so great. Of all of the slasher remakes who took the easy route and packed the film with as much gore as they possibly could, this one is by far the worst offender. Not to mention the fact that as a remake to 1981's Halloween II, it doesn't try at all to be faithful, so not much worth saying there.
Worse yet, both iconic protagonists of the Halloween franchise, Laurie Strode and Dr. Sam Loomis, have their characters butchered beyond recognition in this film, written against everything the characters are supposed to stand for.
The original Laurie (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) was portrayed as scared and helpless, but only because that's how anyone would be in her situation, but when push came to shove, she could be a brave hero, willing to take the fight right to Michael Myers, in addition to being a genuinely kindhearted person. In this film, she is portrayed as nothing more than a snivelling, mean-spirited coward with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And the decision to turn the selfless and noble Dr. Loomis into a fame-hungry sellout is enough to make Donald Pleasence roll in his grave.
This film is not scary, not interesting, and displays no regard for what this series is supposed to be about. It is the worst Halloween film in the entire series, bar none.
2. A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)
You know a production company is bad when their films account for 40% of a "worst of" list. Platinum Dunes is back again with yet another rehash of a horror classic. And of all the 80s slasher icons who were given a reboot, none got a worse deal that Freddy Krueger.
The 2010 remake of Wes Craven's classic is an utter travesty of a film. It relies much to heavily on jump scares, fails in its attempt to create atmosphere at every turn, thinking that simply turning down the lights makes a scene scary, and gives new meaning to the word inconsistent all while being an overall boring affair, with glaring errors throughout, in regards to both continuity and logic.
The absolute worst thing about this film, however, has to be the fact that its portrayal of Freddy Krueger is an embarrassment. Credit where it's due, Jackie Earle Haley gave it everything he had, as he always does. However, it was far from enough to make us overlook the character's atrocious new design and needlessly altered backstory.
Moreover, the film is just unbelievably dull. Its attempts at recreating scenes from the original film all fall flat, the original ideas it brings to the table are uninteresting and never elaborated on properly, and the magic of the original that turned the likes of Heather Langenkamp and Robert Englund into horror icons is nowhere to be found.
Of all the horror reboots Platinum Dunes made, A Nightmare on Elm Street takes the cake as the absolute worst.
1. Psycho (1998)
While each film on this list is utterly terrible, not one holds a candle to the atrocity that is the 1998 remake of Alfred Hitchcock's horror classic, Psycho. While technically not a slasher film per se, the original Psycho from 1960 was a climacteric precursor to the genre. Moreover, it is also one of the single best horror films ever made.
Most remakes fail as a result of failing to comprehend the source material, this one failed, however, because it tried too hard to copy it. This remake is all but a shot for shot remake of the original. The key difference being that the remake has absolutely no life, energy, emotion, or effort to speak of. Every single performance in this film is phoned in by an actor or actress who very much look like they'd much rather be somewhere else. This isn't helped by the fact that Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates is one of the single worst miscastings of all time.
The iconic shower scene isn't the the intense, climactic moment is should be, but is instead one of the most vapid displays ever put on film. The scene that is arguably the single most iconic in horror history, done no justice whatsoever. Vince Vaughn and Anne Heche's performances in this film are an absolute disgrace compared to those of Anthony Perkins and Janet Leigh in the original.
For a reboot that is literally a carbon copy of the original, 1998's Psycho is a film that still somehow managed to get everything wrong.
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